In Loving Memory

In loving memory of Molayn.

Most of my cats are born and spend the rest of their lives with us, and I expect Molayn as well. I told Molayn once not to grow up, but stay as she is, the little orange kitten everyone loves, even though she sometimes can become a huge annoyance to my mother. But deep down I still want her to grow up so that she could bear babies and I could continue taking care of them.

I was ushering all the cats to the their usual 'meal spot', when my dad was going to drive off for his badminton practice. Of all days, when I seemed to always pay close attention to Molayn, today I seemed not to notice that she wasn't anywhere around. Just as soon as my dad backed out his car, I heard a squeal. It was terrible. It was sort of pain that stung you deep inside that made you dash to find what it belonged to. And there it was.

Molayn was there squirming, with blood gushing out of her mouth. The car hit her on the head. I headed to stop the squirming, but then I found that I could not do it and stood on the floor looking at her. My dad quickly went out of the car, and all he said was, "You could have took her from there before I backed out !". I wished for him to say, "Oh brother, I'm so sorry !" but he didn't. I was pissed off, but I didn't have time to be mad. You don't have time to be mad at someone else at that time.

Molayn was still breathing for about 30 minutes before finally it was obvious she had gone. We buried her at the back of the house, with her mother and her brothers and sisters present, even though some of them were munching the leaves, some of them were answering the nature's call, some of them were playing with each other. But the mother, as always, the calm one, stood there grooming herself, and when it was finally over, she stood near the burial ground, watching her other children running about.

Cats have a funny way of saying good bye. A few minutes after that, I heard Molayn's sister meowing around, as if looking for her when she normally did not meow around. I've had a cat who nearing her old age, left us as if didn't want us to be sad looking at her dead body. I found out this soon after most of my cats who became too old and ill left us and never returned.

This may be too corny, or too silly, but I kept thinking of what would be of Molayn when I move to Kuala Lumpur. Will she remember me when I come back home ? How will her kittens look like ? It was sort of like between I want to see her growing up and part of me wants her to be the little active kitten everyone loves. Some of you may say, she is just a cat. But to me and my parents, Molayn is part of our family members. Family members ought to love one another.

Now, Molayn will not grow up. She will stay as a kitten in my heart. Will she remember me ?

I know she would. I would miss her more than ever.